I did a daunting thing: I took my first solo road trip with my toddler. As an anxious person, I was so anxious about it. All the what ifs. She doesn’t like sitting in the car – what if she cries the whole way? She’s starting to get sick – what if she gets really sick? What if we have car trouble? What if what if?
With a lot of daunting things, you just have to do them.
This was no exception. We got in the car, and we did it. Drove the 4.5 hours to Virginia to visit my friend and her two kids. It turned out to be almost easy. And the glorious thing about arriving at a destination where other toddlers already live is that the house is fully ready for the chaos of toddlers – outlet plugs, gates blocking off the stairs, so many different and interesting toys to be curious about! You just toss your kid into the mix and let the happy chaos ensue.
I’m so happy I took this trip. Not only did I love the challenge of trying to have meaningful catchup conversations with my friend while we managed our little swarm of kids, but I realized how much travel helps me feel more myself again. I’ve been really bad about taking trips in the year and a half since my daughter was born, and weekends away can be such a good way to push the “reset” button. I was happy to break the seal on solo travel, so it feels more doable and I can be more consistent about it in addition to family trips with my husband.
And as with any extensive amount of time behind the wheel, I had ample time to think. I thought about the few ways I can be more proactive and reduce stress around road trips before they even begin.
4 Actions to take before a roadtrip, for stress free travel with kids
Cultivate a positive attitude.
I know this is a “no duh,” but it’s hard to do when you’re an anxious person with a mind that tends to swirl. Instead of all of the negative “what ifs” you can build up in your head, take a pause, take a breath, and take a moment to visualize the positive “what ifs” of the trip ahead.
What if my child sleeps for two whole hours? What if we stop along the way at a park and spend 15 minutes in the sun? What if I get to listen to the audiobook I’ve been looking forward to while she’s happily singing to her iPad downloads?
Embrace screen time.
This is a great opportunity to ask yourself: How does screen time support my family’s needs? In this case, the answer is: It allows my child to relax and enjoy the car ride – and get some education depending on the program – while I am freed up to focus on the road and our safety, and enjoy a stress-free drive myself.
Compartmentalize what your packing.
Put all of your items together in one bag. Put all of your kid’s items together in one bag. Put all of the snack items together in one bag. Do not mix them.
When you’re reaching for things and they’re all mixed together in different bags, you are going to waste time and energy looking for them. That applies to the drive itself, when you need to grab a diaper or a snack or an outfit change. That also applies to your experience after getting where you’re going. It’s tough enough to arrive around toddler dinnertime, which turns into the downhill slide of toddler bathtime and toddler bedtime. It’s tougher if you’re also scrambling to locate her pajamas in your clothes bag, her sound machine in your computer bag, her bedtime books in who-knows-which bag.
Compartmentalize it all at the start.
Don’t leave any car tune-up tasks for later.
Do you need gas? Are you due for an oil change or tire rotation? Wiper fluid? Coolant top-off? Tire pressure check? Get it done well before the trip, so you can trust that you’ve done everything you need to do to drive the distance safely and comfortably – and to keep your kid safe. If you’re anxious and you give yourself a concern to ruminate on, you will think about it nonstop.
The mistake I made was not checking my coolant level. I was due for a car tune-up at my dealership in about 1,000 miles, so realistically I should have been fine. But I had gotten my inspection done earlier in the week and I left with a note that my coolant “was a little low.” I worried about it the whole drive there. (What does “a little low” mean??) A special stop at Valvoline during the weekend was the only thing that got my spirits (and coolant level) up for the drive home. Should have done it before the trip.
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I made some mistakes on my trip – not fully prepping the car, not packing well, going in with a horrible mindset, worrying about screen time. But humans make mistakes. Ultimately, none of my negative what ifs came to be, which is usually the case. And my mistakes helped me learn – here’s what went a little wrong, here are some simple actions I can take to smooth out the experience next time.
Now, I’m really looking forward to next time.
