I tend to wait until things are horribly wrong to do something about them. I hit job burnout, or I get overextended and overwhelmed as a mom, or I feel depressed and anxious – and then I try to backpedal and do something about it.
That’s why I’m reclaiming my proactive mental health days: I take a day off of my day job to take care of myself before I hit a wall, before I burn out, before my mood and mindset turn dark.
I started investing in this monthly mental health day, or self care day, when I reached my 30s. I had a corporate job with great PTO and a very strong desire to get a monthly massage. It helped that I found a bodyworker I adore who does amazing work on problem areas, and that this bodyworker is busy and businessminded and books her appointment schedule out a year in advance. It forced me to commit to my self-care and to honor her schedule. Also when you take a 2-hour chunk of time time midmorning on a work day to drive to a massage and get the massage – you might as well take the day off at that point.
Massage is expensive, but it can do wonders for your body and mind. At some point in your life it’s time to stop identifying self-care appointments like this as an occasional “treat,” but instead as routine wellness maintenance that’s just important as a doctor’s appointment.
Self care day ideas: What my schedule looks like
- Start the day with responsibilities. Unless you’re on a retreat, some things in your life are still going to need your attention. My self-care days fall on Mondays this year, so I still get up to teach my weekly 6am yoga class, then make it home for breakfast and the morning routine with my husband and toddler and our two dogs.
- Unrushed walk with the dog and a podcast: Once my husband is out the door for school dropoff and work, I leave our senior girl dog lounging on the couch and take our wild boy dog for his morning walk and plug into a podcast or audiobook. (I just started listening to Real Self-Care.)
- Yoga or a workout (optional): Sometimes there’s time before my massage, often there’s not. But I do love a short movement session before some deep tissue work if I can fit it in.
- Massage: The star of the show. I love showing up for my appointment with a problem area that I really want to dig into, whether it’s sore shoulders from lifting, or a persistent pain in my hamstring, or addressing the fact that my left-side-body has been inflamed and angry ever since I had a kid and started carrying her around in my left arm all the time.
- Lunch: On a pretty day, I’ll take myself out for a lunch date and get a big, gorgeous salad to enjoy outside.
- Sit in the sun with a book. I’m writing this at the start of spring, so this is where my head’s at. I want vitamin D, I want a paperback book that I’m into (currently The Happiness Project), I want warm sunshine on my skin. Preferably in my backyard with my dogs.
- Space for whatever else. At this point in the afternoon, school pickup is on the horizon, and I don’t want to overschedule my time off when I’m so prone to overscheduling all of my other days. I like this little, frivolous window of time where I can just do what calls to me. Journal, blog, at-home pedicure, a little home project I’ve been meaning to knock out. Whatever feels right and good.
Remember: When you plan your mental health day, it’s not about spending time with other people, it’s about spending time with yourself. Don’t busy yourself with other people’s schedules, just focus on your own. And don’t worry what people at work think; block your day for “appointments” or even be transparent about it and support a work culture that inspires other people to do the same thing for themselves. (I like the transparent route, for myself.)
Keep in mind also that this self care day doesn’t have to be insanely expensive (a massage could be a nice long bath instead, for example, or a professional pedicure). Or it can be one of the rare days each month where you do spend on yourself – wher you invest in yourself. Maybe there’s a central appointment or activity you can build your mental health day around.
I build it around my monthly massage (which is expensive, but it brings me such joy and pleasure). It makes my body feel so good. It makes me feel so taken care of. Find something that helps you feel taken care of, too.
